cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

Ok, admit it.  Which one of you Evil Geniuses let Compound Stupid out of the lab?  Come on, you can say.  Really, we need to know so that we can implement the proper containment plan.  I mean, the federal government can get away with not doing anything about disasters for a week or more, but we have higher standards.

How did we find out about the accidental spill?  Simple.  Read the news or ask about popular opinions.

On a personal note, I have but one thing to say:
What. The. Goddamn. Fuck?!?!