cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

Whereas, the winter of 2007-2008 will go down as one of the most severe in Madison history with record snowfall, strong winds, freezing rain, below zero temperatures and now on top of it all Brett Favre retires (for cryin' out loud); and

Whereas, these conditions make us better, hardier people of higher character than our friends who have fled to places like Florida where they can't even get a primary election right; and

Whereas, even with those advantages, we've had enough already; and

Whereas, Madison has never been a community that simply accepts the status quo whether that be the results of national elections, the realities of nuclear fallout, general market conditions or, for that matter, mere astronomical forces; and

Whereas, Spring is a state of mind brought on by the thought of paddle sports and the sight of sleek new canoes and other cool canoe gear; and

Whereas, Madison has been described as so many square miles surrounded by reality; and

Whereas, Madison has been growing at a nice pace which must mean that reality is therefore shrinking; and

Whereas, reality is over-rated.

Now, therefore, be it resolved that Spring officially begins in the City of Madison at 2 AM on Sunday March 9th.