cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

Why, yes, I celebrated my triumphant werk return to the Chicago area by asking to go to Portillo's for dinner so's I could get a chili cheese dog and a cake shake.

I had a healthy lunch and breakfast and will do better on the rest tomorrow. For now, I will make happy eating sounds and DEVOUR the sodium, preservatives, and sugar that I've chosen to be my dinner.

NO RAGRETS!

Today is day 2 of a Return to Bento. It's a slow process for me, as I remember what all I had to prep in advance to make morning lunch preparation smooth and easy.

Why now?

Emi's school sent out an email to all parents saying that lunches packed at home aren't nutritional, so kids should eat school lunch. They used one of Emi's lunches as an example.

Okay, so there were probably too many carbs and not nearly enough fruits and veggies. HOWEVER, when they say "and it has no dairy", I get really mad.

She. Can't. Have. ANY. Dairy.

Their example "good school" lunch contained a couple other items that Emi just plain can't have.

So on the one hand, this is deeply annoying that they chose a comparison lunch for a kid who literally can't eat the food that they want to serve her. But on the other hand, yes, we need to do better at balancing her lunch.

So I took back over making lunches in the morning. This means that I need to get up a little earlier, but if I'm getting out fruit and veggie for Emi, I may as well pack some up for me, too. This removes some of my temptation in the cafeteria at lunch time, but it also makes me a little bit sad because it's not as mentally fun as "going out". It's more economical and healthier, certainly, but not as fun.

As far as Emi's lunches, I don't know how much of what she's getting is actually getting eaten. I'm hoping that by sending a smaller number of foods that are healthier, she'll actually eat everything we send because she's hungry and doesn't have a choice.

And I'm not being totally healthy with this. She still gets a packet of gummies. I care not if the lunch overlady says it's too much sugar. She needs a treat.

I'm liking being a member of the Church of Bloggessianism. It's a comforting place, this church. Also, it's kind of nice to have an exalted title already. This is a Thing that is Making me Smile today. http://thebloggess.com/2014/11/the-church-of-bloggessianism-choose-your-title-strangelings/


Therapy yesterday consisted of two major takeaways. One - I don't have to make the holidays perfect. I just have to be happy and live in the moment. Everything else will take care of itself. Two - I am resilient and tough. I have survived everything that's ever happened to me. I don't have to like change, but I have to know that I'll get through it and it will be okay. I'm not sure I like either of these things, but it's given me a lot to think about.


This post on Epbot has given me a lot to think about. http://www.epbot.com/2014/11/a-is-for-agoraphobia.html  I haven't developed full agoraphobia yet, but I'm on my way. I get panic attacks walking into work if I know the day isn't going to follow my "safe" pattern. I can see the future and it is bleak. I will be Taking Steps.


Dance last night was challenging. M decided it was Pick on Sabine Night. Her corrections are good, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be able to incorporate all of them right away. They're things that I ought to be doing, yes, but all at once was a little overwhelming. At least she thinks I'm worth the time and effort to correct. That's a good thing. The choreography continues to make me happy. I don't think I'll ever get to use it, but it's a happy fun piece without a ton of Drama. That is also a good thing.


Today is the 8th anniversary of the day Downwood and I promised to be a family and love and support each other. There are ups and downs, but things are going to be okay.


I have made my initial menu for Thanksgiving and sent it out to all the people who will be attending, along with a list of suggestions for what they can bring. I kind of love not knowing what all will be showing up. We'll have the staples and some of the booze and the inviting atmosphere. That's going to be enough, I think. All the Pinterest boards of fancy table settings and frou-frou options tempt me, but ain't nobody got time for that. I might cave and do a baked Brie, though, in addition to the dishes I already planned (turkey, ham, couple of Ox-safe veggies, cranberries, cider). That recipe looks utterly delightful.


And since I'm back at work after taking Friday and Monday off, my Inbox is a disaster area (though mostly spiffed up) and my task list is daunting. And I'm in meetings from 1-5. Lovely. Time to make the donuts.

The on-campus food options are closed this week at werk. Next week is the Evil Empire's Massive Shindig Of DOOOOM, so our culinary staff is busting ass this week to get ready for it. Since I wouldn't be able to easily get breakfast or lunch at work, I decided to use this as a kick in the pants to get back into the habit of packing bentos.

My breakfast bento was a bowl of steel cut oatmeal cooked with quinoa for added protein. And a lot of brown sugar and cinnamon because I'm me.

My lunch bento...I may have made a strategic error here. I packed some Emi-safe turkey meatballs from the fridge and a container of rice and sweet corn. That's fine and was smart. However, I packed a wee cup of barbeque sauce for the dipping of the meatballs. It's reasonably spicy. I also made a salad. It had cucumber, carrot, green onions, and celery diced up fine. I dressed it with oil, vinegar, and mirin and added a couple dashes of a spicy seasoned salt blend. Then, I diced up a little bit of pepper jack cheese.

The salad plus the bbq sauce may have been an overestimation for what I can handle while at my desk, on the phone, eating lunch while on mute. I can't exactly go fill up my water cup until this call is over.

It's a good burn. I'll just keep telling myself that.

I'm not sure what day it is. This morning, Emi came in sobbing at 5, saying she'd had an accident. She hid a sippy cup in bed - she's not allowed to have cups in bed for just this reason - and everything was soaked. Downwood got up and cleaned her up and she crawled in with me. When my alarm went off just a bit later, she went to the couch and dozed. I went to the coffee pot, then to my computer. I have several lists of comics, each labeled with a day of the week, so that I only check the comics that update that day. I couldn't figure out which day it was. And now I just sent an email asking if we should make Friday night plans for tonight.

It's not Friday. That'd be tomorrow. Not today.

I have a meeting with my Team Lead this afternoon. I'm supposed to be talking about career growth and such. Don't know what I want to bring up. Phooey.

Those overnight refrigerator oatmeal things that have been popping up on Pinterest and Facebook lately? Actually pretty tasty. And it means it's something I don't have to put together in the morning. Win! I don't eat breakfast until I get to work, otherwise I'm starving to death by 10 AM. Having a bento breakfast at work means that I can have a wider variety of food - carbs, protein, fruit, maybe something else - and space it out over a longer period of time.

For some reason, I can't use my debit card to make purchases at Corset Story. Every time I try, the transaction is denied and my bank calls me to ask about potentially fraudulent activity. And then they're all like "Was this Kickstarter purchase yours? How about this Audible purchase?" Yeah, I do all my shopping online. I'm a sad computer addict consumer monkey.

I will dye my hair this weekend. And sew. And dance.

I have my dance for SitG patterned out. There are a couple of fuzzy spots, but I know where I'm supposed to be and the emotions to project at each part. Now to just do it until I can't do it wrong. Also, continue to bond with my new veil from RH. Each veil acts a little different and has a different personality. This one is very loving. Not in a "I'm going to smother you now" sort of way (usually), but in a "let me be a part of your limbs" sort of way. I can work with this.

I read Neil Gaiman's "Ocean at the End of the Lane" on the way to faire two weeks ago. I'm now listening to him narrate it. This is really awesome. I recommend both.

Time to get ready for morning phone calls. My afternoon is weirdly open. Maybe I'll actually get work done today!! WHAT A CONCEPT!

Four stellar things happened yesterday. Here is the order of happening, though probably not the order of importance.

1. I got a filling mostly replaced. I was flossing my teeth Sunday night before bed and had a chunk of metal fall out of one of my molars. I went in yesterday and they put in a temporary filling. The dentist said that she'd rather not do serious work (drill out the other half of the filling and fix the tooth for real) until after the baby, but if we have to, we could do it in the 2nd trimester.
   
   
2. Our 44th President got sworn in. I watched it on TV and cried a little. We have a lot of hard work ahead of our country, but we have a leader who is looking forward and who wants us to be both united in our determination and also to use the brains we were given. Hard work, creativity, curiosity, science, and acceptance. This makes me very, extremely happy.
   
   
3. Discovered that, yes, the Chinese takeout place closer to our house makes the same AMAZING egg rolls and fried rice that the one across from my old apartment made. Given that I can't eat sweets anymore (damn baby) and I'm craving salty, crunchy, fried food (again, baby's fault), I call this a good thing.
   
   
4. The GURPS game made me smile so hard and for so long that my cheeks still hurt today. I should probably put some thought into Something Exciting for the next session, but it's probably not necessary. Besides, when you have half the group plotting to dispose of the baby sphinx that another character adopted, it's not really a requirement to throw too much extra at them at once. Or is it....

Friday night - Hang out with fine folks and chow on FANTASTIC Mexican lasagna.

Saturday - Bring fine folks to Faire. Beautiful day, awesome people, tons of fun. I wore my new halter top and circle skirt, kept finding more things to put in my hair, and made the Puritan mad. Good times.

Today - Had fun with capsaicin in some open wounds on my hands, made a TON of very tasty food (including the absolutely marvelous, wonderful, divine gifts from heaven bacon-wrapped jalepeno thingies), and pulled off a very fun baby shower for dear friends.

When I have brain, pictures. Since I have no brain, "Whee! Huzzah! and Nom Nom Nom!"

I live! Well, I mostly live. I'm doing my best to fight off the Plague that always seems to happen right around the holidays (go, immune system, go!) and did I mention that the holidays are starting? I have orange juice thawing under the faucet and I've been drinking Calm and Candy Cane Lane like they're going out of style. Also, yay for exercise!

Thanksgiving with the in-laws was very nice. We got to get out town for a little while, Rain got to stay overnight at Grandpa's, and it was good to see Downwood's grandparents. His whole family are very nice and don't seem to be quite so breathing-down-your-neck as some of mine. We need to spend more time down there - or have them come to us - in general. I'd really like to have that happen.

Black Friday was spent at my desk at work. I got a couple of Major Projects Nearing Set-In-Stone Looming Deadline sort of done. The really slow part, the part that takes a solid block of time to just sit there and work through the code? Yep, I got that hammered through and the Projects passed back to the original owners for edits and rework. This was good, since I got another Major Project dropped on me this morning (due very early Thursday). Here's how that conversation went:
( Annoying coworker conversation. This will kill brain cells. )

This weekend was the D&D Certain Death Invitational. My players created very standard, very basic, very PHB/DMG 10th level characters of reasonably good alignment. They were told by their boss, the High Poobah of the Heroes' Guild, that they were needed to mop up a litter of baby chromatic dragons. They set forth with a chicken-livered guide and, after debating whether or not it was a good idea to ring the doorbell at the secret entrance to the dragons' lair, managed to beat down a magma drake.

I then called each player aside. I confiscated their character sheet and handed them a new one.

The baby dragons of Tiamat's Day Care - Quality Care for All Evil Wyrmlings fought valiantly against the wrongdoers of good who were trying to wipe them out. The players cheered when their original characters took damage and did a pretty good job at holding their own against the enemy. We had to call in reinforcements when the blue got KOed and the green got splatted (huge crit when she only had 3 hit points left. splat.), but Evil held their ground. A couple of the heroes got away, but they were seriously hurting when they did. I call this a stunning success!


And then we come to tonight's subject line. I was trying to come up with something to make for dinner tomorrow night that wouldn't require me to get dressed and go to the grocery store tonight (ie, anything that needs advance prep was Dead Out - chili, roast, lasagna, etc). I poked around in my freezer and found venison loin, ginger, and orange juice. Since I helpfully have garlic on hand At All Times and I found both the soy sauce and the rice wine vinegar, I'm thinking that this marinade is going to be delicious. I just have to stop on my way home tomorrow for veggies and get Downwood to start the rice and it will be a Wonderful Dinner. Yus.

But since I hear my book, my tea, and the couch calling me, I will stop with the typing and make with the recreating. I love being an adult! Maybe, just maybe, I'll throw in the DVD of Hogfather that I picked up at Borders yesterday...

The Weekend of Awesome started Thursday night at belly dance class. Phaedra told us that she would be performing at Med Hookah on Friday night. When I got to work on Friday, I looked at my Inbox and task list and made a quick decision: instead of working later and going to the gym, I would leave right on time, hurry home, and get all my chores done early so that we might be able to go to the restaurant for the 8 pm show. I asked several people if they wanted to go with and got a couple acceptances.

Work was done. Rushing home was done. Chores were done. Dressier clothes were put on.

Phaedra is a beautiful performer. Wow. I SO need to practice more. After her set, she sat with us and chatted, since there weren't a whole lot of people in the cafe. It was so much fun. I totally recommend just getting appetizers and pomegranate martinis. Mmm...pomegranate martinis...

Saturday dawned beautiful and sunny and my alarm clock went off way too early. I rolled out of bed and took the dog for a walk, hollering at Downwood to get in the shower when I got back. I got the coffee started and had barely begun vacuuming when my parents knocked on our front door an hour ahead of when they'd told me they would show up. Crazy people left the house at 4 in the morning. Sheesh.

We chatted a little, they ran to get some donuts while I showered. We talked more and then went to the brewpub here in Verona to catch a bus to downtown. It was the first time that Downwood and my folks had ever been to Camp Randall. It was a total blast as we saw the Badgers totally demolish Northern Illinois.

I rejoiced when I saw that ISU was up over Oklahoma 7-0 and was flabbergasted when the ticker across the bottom of the scoreboard held steady at 7-0 well into the fourth quarter. I didn't find out about the end zone interception until I got home. Damn Cyclones. I love them to pieces but they've got to get rid of this habit of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

After the game, we hung out at the bar to get our free pints of the beer of the month (I love these people) and had a late lunch/early dinner/real food. Mom and Bob decided that they were going to head home, since they'd have to drive at least 30 min to get somewhere with available hotel rooms, so Downwood suggested that we go down to New Glarus and tour the shop where he works.

Machinery. Lots of dangerous looking machinery. And on a COMPLETELY UNRELATED note, I think I should increase the life insurance that I have on him. But it was a cool tour and the swords are awfully spiffy.

We came back to Madison and chilled out for the rest of the day. Played a little Puzzle Pirates, watched the Illinios-Michigan game on TV (damn penalties. grr.), and gave the dog some attention.

Sunday morning started with a bad omen: the coffeepot decided to not work again. This is distressing. But that meant we got to go out for lattes when we hit the grocery store for ingredients for cheesecake and soup. I made a totally kickass pot of soup, a loaf of bread in the bread machine, and a cinnamon struesel-apple cheesecake of yum.

The feast was fed to the Girly Pirate Crew, who were shocked and amazed to find that I actually had a "real" plot and had a storyline somewhat sketched in, including a Special Guest Appearance by Downwood as Cute Scottish Duelist With A Problem (ie, the plot). When one of the girls called at the last minute to say she couldn't make it, Val's man bravely stepped in, donned a metaphorical skirt, and sashayed with the best of them. And Deaf Artie is made of win.

Actually, that whole game is made of win. It's crack - fun, delicious, totally absurd crack. And I love it to pieces.

So, to recap, there was dancing, football, family, friends, gaming, and very good food. All in all, this weekend was exactly what I needed to be able to go to work today and not kill anyone. Yes, this is a very good thing.

I made this soup for dinner again tonight.  Holy cow, do I love this soup.  It's absolutely perfect for a cold, snowy evening here in the frozen north.  I don't use the celery and I don't so much measure anything except the two cans of chickpeas.  It would probably be just as nice if made with vegetable stock and Downwood's lobbying for some actual meat product to be added to it.  I like it as it is. 

Yum.


Also, the blog where I found this recipe?  It totally rocks.