sabine | Entries tagged with meds

Yesterday was quite the thing.

I worked all morning and then took off at noon. I had my inaugural visit with a new psychiatrist. My old one left that practice and my insurance insisted that I start seeing one of their people. Fine, but my records didn't get transferred to my new Dr. Argh, especially since my job with the Evil Empire is to MAKE SURE THESE THINGS HAPPEN, PEOPLE!

Luckily, we live in the future, so I was able to pull out my smartphone and tell my dr what meds I'm all on and roughly when I started each. It's super cool to be able to see this in both my dr app and Walgreens app. Super helpful!

Since I didn't know how long the appointment would be, I took the afternoon off of work. This was nice, since I was able to get a PSL and head home. I watched cartoons with Alex and taped together a couple printed patterns. I got most of a dress cut out for Emi, but I need to iron my fabric and just couldn't deal with it.

I got to hang with Emi after school and hear all about her trip to Cave of the Mounds. I got to check my work email and try to not snarl at people who ask silly questions.

Then, I got ready for the show! I ended up wearing an off-white long sleeve shirt, my Peg Leg leggings (because I thought it would be cold), one of my 32yd skirts (black on top, white ruffle, and gold ruffle on bottom), and a white corset with a little black lace and black binding (couldn't find a belt that looked right). I also put on a bunch of white eyeshadow, glitter, and a pearl choker.

I had a quick dinner with the family and then headed up into town for the show!

Side note: I didn't have to psych myself up to go to this show. I didn't worry about looking ridiculous or that I'd get lost or that everything would go horribly wrong. I think my anxiety lives in Night Vale. I'm strangely okay with this.

I found parking about 4 blocks from the theater. On the way from the car to the theater, I put on my bustle and my wrap. When I came up to the theater, I turned on the lights in my bustle and wrap.

So. Many. "ALL HAIL!" It was AWESOME and made me feel loved.

I waited in the line to get in, got anxious when RH couldn't find parking, but she drove by, gave me my ticket, and sent me in to stake out seats for us.

The crowd was super fun. There were LOTS of costumes, but only two other glow clouds. And our glow cloud costumes were WAY better. There were Eternal Scouts, Old Women Josie, opera goers, pretty sure there was a John Peters (you know, the farmer), and others I couldn't identify. The demographics of the crowd were neat. There were really young kids (10-13yo), college/grad students, professionals, and grandparent types. And we all cheered super loud when Meg (Proverb Lady) came on stage.

The show was fantastic. I was NOT a fan of the musical group for the bridge and the Weather. Just...not my jam. Good, but not what I like to listen to. The story of the show was fun, being able to see the voices was super awesome, and the live background music by Disparition was great! The story was a little short, especially in light of how many songs Dessa sang before the show started, but it was fun, suspenseful, and full of all the things that make Night Vale own my soul.

I got home about 10:50. I came in, dropped my stuff, and immediately had to start cuddling Alex. He was up crying. We walked around the house and snuggled on the couch for a bit. I got him back in bed, Downwood got a new nightlight for his room, and he was getting settled when I saw the dry, super cracked skin on his wrists and feet. I put some aquaphor lotion on, but it hurt so bad that he started sobbing again. He eventually calmed down, but not until after I laid down on the floor next to his bed so that he wasn't alone.

He fell asleep. I went to bed. He woke up crying again. I went in, got him to go back to sleep. I went to bed. He started crying. Downwood went in. Sleep. Crying. Momma in. Sleep. Crying. Daddy in. Through all this, we never actually figured out what the problem was. No words means communication is hard. No words and tears mean communication is nearly impossible.

At some point, Downwood brought him into our bed to sleep. Poor dude. Neither Downwood or I got good, solid sleep as a result.

We let Alex sleep as long as we could this morning. At the absolute last minute, I woke him up enough to ask if he wanted to go to school because it's Farm Field Trip Day. He said a sleepy yes. Then there were LOTS of tears as I got him ready. Getting dressed was hard, having something to drink was hard. Getting some lotion on the bad spots was hard. He didn't cheer up until he was in his jacket and had his backpack on and some rice crackers to munch. Poor little guy.

Kids got off to school and I got myself to work...about 30 seconds before my first meeting of the day. Now, I'm going from meeting to meeting, trying to pay attention and be my usual awesome self. I'm very tired and the coffee is starting to wear off (eeeeek).

I just have to get through 8 hours of today and then I can go home. I can make Emi a new dress for Ren Faire this weekend. I can figure out something to wear for me. I can snuggle Alex and help him feel better. I can go to Walgreens and get the new meds. I can do these things.

I'm wearing my new Night Vale t-shirt and my Night Vale hoodie. I have music and podcasts. I have some very good books queued up on my Kindle. I can do this.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/752975.html

Today is the start of something new. I have a new med (wellbutrin) and I'm getting off of the one that's not working for me (zoloft). In theory, this switch will get rid of the bad side effects and replace them with good side effects. It might not help my anxiety any, but since my anxiety is closely tied to my depression, this could be a totally beautiful thing for me. I'm tapering up on the wellbutrin and down on the zoloft and it'll be a month before I'm totally switched.

And then my psychiatrist says, "Oh, as you taper down the zoloft, you may get headaches, muscle aches, and weird tingles sort of like electric shocks."

Wait, what?

Apparently, it's a one in a million thing that happens as you stop taking it. Yikes, but I'm glad to be warned about it.

Work is still crazy times. Customer is upgrading in 10 days. They discovered a "showstopper" last night. One of their execs basically said, "We don't trust the other vendor to do the right thing, so you need to scramble and work us a miracle." Joy. Headdesk.

Emi asked to go to the "restaurant with the jello". So we may be buffeting it tonight. Good times.

Tomorrow is SitG. Tomorrow is for henna, a dinner date, and then the show. Sunday is also for henna and laundry and snuggles. Then a week of crazy times at work. Then a working weekend in Dallas. Then can I fall down?

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/689824.html

It's okay to buy fabric. Yes, it's a little spendy, but it's fabric for three dresses and a top. I'll get all the fabric for the price of one of the dresses from eShakti. Also, I love making dresses. So nyah, jerkbrain.

I'm doing a good job. My TL asked my customers for feedback and got back UNANIMOUS high praise. Every. Single. Customer rated my service as 4 of 4 stars and I got glowing, gushing reviews. My TL is happy with me. He also LISTENED when I told him where I wanted to go in the next year or so and he's going to do what he can to help me get there. So double nyah, jerkbrain.

I'm going to get a new medication this afternoon. So long to the med that's making my anxiety and depression a little less, but has also caused MAJOR weight gain, continual exhaustion, and completely shut off my libido. The new med (yet tbd) will likely have other side effects. It's a balancing act of figuring out what side effects I can live with. Also, I'll get a refill of Xanax, which is a lovely anti-anxiety security blanked. Neener neener, jerkbrain.

I'm using my Google-fu and eBay skillz for evil. For fluffy, fluffy evil. I regret nothing. The jerkbrain has nothing to say about this. I think it's overwhelmed by the fluffy feathers. This gives me ideas for dealing with the jerkbrain in the future. The jerkbrain runs away from MUPPETOSITY. Sweet.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/689659.html

Friday night was a disaster, due to anxiety about work and other things.

Saturday morning was lovely, due to me actually being rested for once. I did the work that I had to get done, then hovered over the phone for the rest of the day in case something exploded and they needed me.

Since I was hovering and didn't want to start anything (working off the theory that as soon as I did, they'd call and I'd be sad), I started cleaning the den. Downwood started helping out of self-preservation. Ox anti-helped and got banished. Emi said she was helping, but the truth is a bit far from that. I reorganized the piles of books that are on the shelves, but don't actually have homes *on* the shelves. I pulled out all my baby, pregnancy, and breastfeeding books for the GiveAway pile and all my craft books for the Put With Craft Stuff pile. I washed every blanket and pillow that was back in the den, as well as all the winter coats I could find (5 loads, total).

Downwood picked up toys, picked up kid books, and vacuumed.

In the afternoon, Downwood took the kids to the grocery store. I tried to sew and made a mess of things, so I put the projects on the table and read and dozed.

That evening, Emi and I started a new bedtime routine. Now instead of saying "You have 10 minutes left until bed", I say "If you head in right now, we have time for 3 books." And then if she dawdles, I give her the "Two Book Warning". Since she LOVES bedtime books, this is a bigger incentive than me scolding and finally getting her to bed and telling her we only have time for one book. If I give her the choice of "two books or 5 more minutes of video and one book", it seems more fair to her. I think this is reasonable.

Sunday morning, none of us were well rested. Downwood had gone to bed really early, so he was up and about at 4:30 and grumpy about it.

It was a usual Sunday. Downwood mowed, I did a ton of laundry, the kids played outside and whined and snuggled and read books and got in trouble. We played GW2 and I got World Completion on my main character (only impressive if you play GW2, sadly). All was well until bedtime.

I forgot to pick up a refill of one of my evening meds. It's the one that shuts off the hamster wheel in my brain so that I can actually sleep. Without it, no sleep. So I was in bed for about an hour and a half before I finally was able to do more than doze. My Fitbit was unhappy with me this morning. I was unhappy with me this morning.

I've had lots of coffee and have hidden in my office as much as possible. I don't particularly want to talk to difficult people today, as my filters are all wonky.

But there's a YouTube video of Hugh Jackman rapping "The Music Man" at the Tony Awards last night. I have the "Motown Tribute to Nickelback" album on my phone. I did some lovely weird henna on my leg. There are several good new books on my Kindle and I was able to use some of my Amazon credits to buy some good apps for the kiddos. I only work 4 days this week, have a dentist appointment Friday morning, then it's off to Iowa to spend time with my seester and take the kids on a train ride and see Grandpa again.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/679827.html

I'm thankful that my meds are all long-release meds that it's sort of okay to miss a day. Sort of.

I'm thankful for my Kindle. I love having many, many good books literally at my fingertips.

I'm thankful for my "Songs To Make Me Smile" playlist. Even if putting in my headphones usually makes my phone ring immediately.

I'm thankful for actually getting an hour back out of my back-to-back-to-back meetings so I could, you know, do work.

I'm thankful for a trainee who's worth my time and will soon be fully taking over this customer.

I'm thankful for my new boots being totally awesome in appearance and, so far, not giving me giant blisters or other major pain.

I'm thankful for this fantastic purple nail polish. It still rocks my world.

That's pretty much how today's been.

Current Mood: blah
Current Location: werk
Current Music: Amora Adores Thor - Ookla the Mok
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/653998.html

I had an extremely productive weekend. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to, but I really enjoyed the things I was able to do.

Key accomplishments:

I finished Emi's dress! It's too big for her now, but she'll grow. I should have slip-stitched the lining instead of top-stitching it, but I don't regret the decision. Done is beautiful and I can always add a little ruffle or something to cover it.
I started one of the blouses for me. It's an experiment that may end up with a crash and burn, but we'll see how it shapes up.
Laundry! Wash all the things!
Emi, Ox, and I walked to the village park Sunday morning. Emi showed me that she can climb a 6-foot tall ladder all by herself, thus giving me almost a heart attack.
We had several family meals with all of us at the table!
My computer is still a paperweight, so I didn't get to editing and posting pictures of anything. My poor camera's getting pretty full.
Figs are quite delightful in stir-fry. Also, dinner with cousin and his new wife was even more delightful.
Planning for the nerdlings' birthdays continues. If you're free on Aug 18th and in the area, come over to say Hi. Just let me know ahead of time so we have enough chicken and watermelon. There will likely be far too many cupcakes. And beer. For adults, not for nerdlings.
Watching Olympics with an almost-three-year-old is far more entertaining than just watching Olympics. Emi's going to be a bike rider, a sword lady, a swimmer, and a bouncy dancer (gymnastics). I heard she watched some of the equestrian events with Daddy, which may have extended the list slightly.

Actually, that's about all I can remember after spending the last two days sequestered in a Room Of Let's Get Stuff Done at werk. My brain is sort of melted.

But, you know, the new meds seem to be okay. There were moments when - without outside stimulus - I could look at things and look forward to a future that is not bleak and may be worth living. There are still far too many moments of not wanting to be around anymore, but I think this new combination will turn out to be good.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: werk

katelennon, they made something for you and me. Is not this keychain truly nifty?

Also, my psychiatrist thinks that I should consider maybe getting a new job if this one is making me miserable. We're going to see if the new team is the happy land of less stress, more bonuses, and shorter hours that has been suggested. There are other changes that I know I can make that will hopefully end up with my entertaining nature and creativity coming back.

I have a mug of delicious hot chocolate, some silly games to play, good tunes, and another twenty minutes or so of blessed, wonderful alone time. When I keep my brain from getting involved, life is pretty good.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: home, sore from dance class

First! I have all of this year's Nadas Rock The State Fair shows on mp3. Also, my computer has pretty good speakers. This makes me a very, very happy Sabine.

Second! My psychiatrist is having me go in for some lab work. There is no bad side to this. Either my thyroid is just fine or we have a good explanation for a lot of the physical weirdness of the last year. I like both outcomes, so I'm pretty stoked about this.

Third! We stopped by the comic store before dinner and not only was the Watchmen collection easy to find, there was also a Fables that I haven't read yet! Woot!

Fourth! Today is the fourth anniversary of the day that Downwood and I started being a "couple". There's nothing at all wrong with this.

So what's good and awesome in your life lately?

----------------
Now playing: The Nadas - Alaska
http://foxytunes.com/artist/the+nadas/track/alaska

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Location: home, with the volume way up high like I'm there at the show

I changed health insurance back in May when the Evil Empire decided not to continue with the HMO that I'd had since I moved to Mad-town. I was able to keep my same primary care provider and my prescription co-pay actually went down by $10/month, so that was also a good thing.

The not-so-good thing was that my psychiatrist's clinic needed to get an authorization from the new HMO saying that I could continue care with them. I've been a patient at this clinic since October 2002, went through lots of individual and group therapy, and I have a good relationship with the doctor currently assigned my file. In short, I didn't want to change and go to a place where they don't understand my version of crazy.

When I called up the billing folks to talk to them about this, they said that in 90% of the cases, the new HMO prefers to treat patients within their network unless there's a specialist or someone specific to my old clinic. My version of crazy doesn't require a specialist. I think I'm special, but I'm pretty much run of the mill standard recurring major depressive with anxiety issues.

I asked my new HMO to let me stay at my clinic. They said they'd have to bring it to a committee and they'd let me know their decision.

I got the decision today. I can stay!

WOOT!

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Location: werk

I aten't dead.

No, really, I'm not. I've done a pretty good impression of it lately, what with the Zombie Effect of Too Much Work and the resultant lack of People Points.* I had Thursday/Friday of last week off and that helped somewhat. I got a lot done, bought myself the next Malazan Tale of the Fallen, got a honey latte for lunch, bought a large box of Gail's chocolates all for me**, bought tickets for the UW Bellydance Spring Show***, and danced my lovely legs into the ground.

I may have overdone the dancing a little, as the ride down to my parents' house Saturday was not so comfortable. We got to hang out for a while, Mom did our taxes (yay refund!), and we went to Mass. After church, we went out to this little dive bar in a town that's not even on the map#, but has the absolute best fried chicken on the planet. I mean, the chicken I fry is better than okay, Grandma's is a huge motivating factor, but this chicken is worth cramming sore legs into a tiny car and bouncing over badly paved roads for twenty minutes each way. It was crowded, the service was slow, and they serve everything in either plastic or styrofoam, but it was delicious, the beer was cold, and I really love my family. They rock!

Staff Meeting today at the Evil Empire was made slightly better by my smuggled-in DS and a new copy of Professor Layton and the Curious Village.## I think I'm in love with this game. I've only had to go to an online help twice and once of those was because I had the right answer but the damn AI didn't recognize it (matchstick moving puzzle of doom). I like the plot, the variety of puzzles, and the game play. I totally recommend it if you like things like:

You need to get the three wolves and the three chickens across the river. The raft only holds two animals at a time and must carry at least one animal to move. If there are ever more wolves than chickens on a side, the wolves will eat the chickens. How many moves does it take to get all the animals across?

(Side note: In case you're wondering, my attention span isn't as good as it could be tonight. In fact, it's pretty abysmal. This is why there are footnotes. I don't feel so bad about all the tangents if I gather them into footnotes.)

I still feel like a lot of the interesting parts of me have evaporated. I'm doing what I can to condense them, but it's not really working yet. I have a sneaking suspicion that my job is stealing bits of my soul and replacing them with distilled bitterness and apathy.*# I'm not pleased by this, but progress is being made on reclaiming my sewing room, projects are moving forward again, and I have both plot surprises and a dinner surprise for game tomorrow night.

There are also two bags of the World's Best Potato Chips sitting on top of my fridge. If anyone feels like coming over and working on Scion characters this week (but not tomorrow night), I'm sure we could break one open. There might even be french onion dip. Maybe.

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* - I'm an introvert. It costs me People Points to be around other people. Some people cost more Points than others (Mom, for example, is very expensive) and Downwood is by far the cheapest. But it still costs me something to be around even him for long periods and so we have our Monday night tradition where he goes out and games and I get the house to myself to dance, sing, craft, or just stare at the wall. And he knows better than to surprise me by coming home early.

** - Mwahahahahaha!

*** - The headliner/expert giving the workshop just canceled. I think it was either injury or sickness, but the thing's more than a month away, so it's probably serious. I haven't sent in my registration for the workshop yet, but I probably will as soon as they announce that they have someone to teach the darn thing.

# - Mount Hamill, Iowa. Not on the map. For real.

## - This is a game that was made specifically for me. It's one more piece of evidence that I secretly rule the world. Yus.

*# - In addition, the couple of weeks I spent traveling knocked me back to the mental state I was in the first winter I lived in Madison. Not quite "hospital time" bad but "oh crap...all those times when I've worried I was relapsing? yeah...not a candle to this" bad. The one good thing is that I now have a much better Relapse Baseline. Everything else about it - what it did to me, what it did to Downwood, what it did to us, what it did to my retail therapy bill - was bad. Really bad. I haven't felt that weak of a grip on reality in a very long time. But it's kind of nice to know that I do know how bad it can get inside my head and I know how to take care of myself when it happens. I just don't like the reminder that there's something functionally wrong with my brain that I can't perfectly control. Not cool.

Current Mood: sore
Current Location: home!

After going to bed last night, I spent a long time* trying to consciously relax the muscles in my face, neck, and shoulders. I had a killer headache that I thought was primarily a muscle tension problem. I flipped and flopped around, tried to get comfortable, whimpered until Downwood rubbed Tiger Balm** into my neck, and made an offhand comment to the effect of "If my drugs don't kick in soon and let me sleep, tomorrow's going to be really rough."

Shortly thereafter, my drugs did their job and knocked me out cold.*** I proceeded to have my usual set of weird dreams and good rest.

The moment Downwood's alarm went off, however, my final thoughts of the evening before were brought screaming back into my brain. The headache did not go away overnight. No, it was just as strong this morning as it was when I fell asleep.

While Downwood got ready for work, I snoozed on the bed with the dog. My morning dreams are always more lucid than my night dreams and are significantly weirder. This morning's dream was all about a headache that was preventing me from doing any work and was making it difficult to avoid spiders in my cereal in a sort of Gunnerkrigg Court-ish boarding school setting. It was with much displeasure when I got out of bed, still in pain, to walk the dog.

So now I'm getting ready to go do Anything That Doesn't Require a Computer. I'm taking a sick day to hopefully knock this thing out with Advil, tea, and no monitor usage. I told my team lead that I would check my email and stay caught up with work stuff, but I need to not hurt.

----
* - It probably wasn't very long, but it felt like the minutes were stretching into hours. Kind of like organic chem lecture.
** - Tiger Balm is beautiful stuff. Just don't put some on your spouse and then itch your eyes. Learn from Downwood's mistakes.
*** - Seriously. I hate being dependent on them, but I've been on them for so long that I can't fall asleep without them and I automatically fall asleep about 90 minutes after I take them. It's both good and bad, but since it lets me function in the Real World, I don't mind too much.

Current Mood: headachy
Current Location: home

I still do not have the plague. A list of plague-prevention items has been assembled and will be purchased tomorrow before heading to Iowa to spend the holiday with my already ill relatives.
I was given the You Rock! award at work today. It is a rock that has "You rock" written on it in Sharpie. It is given to the most recent Amazingly Awesome Team Member who has done wonderful things for either individuals or the group as a whole. This made me giddy. I love positive feedback!
All Hogswatch presents have been purchased. Most have been wrapped. Some have been delivered with varying degrees of squee.
The Czar and his lovely wife sent us Totally Outstanding gifts that are...wow. Well played, Victaar, well played.
All cookie tins that are going through the USPS (with one exception) were delivered unto the hands of the helpful Guy Behind The Counter. I was first in line this morning and it was wonderfully non-stressful and efficient. Yay efficient!
Every muscle in my torso is tired and wants to go lie down. Silly torso. This just means I need to do many, many more undulations and practice the evil x-step.
The Great Light Box Experiment worked wonders for me at the end of November. My psychiatrist recommended that I try it out because we share the opinion that anything I can do to improve my mental health that doesn't involve higher doses or more kinds of meds? That's something VERY worth doing. So when the days started getting shorter, I blasted my retinas with 10k lumens every morning for a week.

Then I gave the light box back. And promptly sank into a depressive state where I've been lingering since the 4th.

My meds, workouts, and mood maintenance training have been keeping me going. I now have in my purse a script to get a light box of my very own and have my insurance cover most of it. Actually, I'm going to get one even if Unity says that they don't want to pay for it. Screw them, I want to feel normal again!
I have a five-day weekend, then a four-day weekend, then three weeks of work, then an ENTIRE week off!!!! I'm so excited! I'll get a chance to sleep, not be stressed, and work on the minis that Downwood gave me for Winterthing.
I have the most awesome husband who ever husbanded anything. Made of win and awesome. And our furkid is pretty adorable, too.
Overall, life is pretty good. I'm looking forward to January. This was a good year and I'm excited to see where things are going to go next.
Also, Sweeney Todd comes out tomorrow! YAY!

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: home!

Today is a good day. In no particular order, here are some of the reasons why:

FFXII rocks my socks off. The game is so very pretty to play and it's laced with all the side-quest and mini-game crack that I've come to expect from the franchise. Long live Final Fantasy!
Though we had no trick-or-treaters deign to visit our doorstep, there's a big bowl of candy still sitting right behind where I sit to play video games. Oh, darn.
The absolute BEST TEA IN THE WORLD is back on sale. Normally, I'd want to rant about seeing Christmas stuff in the stores this early, but when it's my Candy Cane Lane tea from Celestial Seasonings, I'll not only let it slide, but I'll buy several boxes, audibly squee when the cashier hands me the bag, and do the Ecstatic Favorite Tea Dance all the way out to the car.
The Horrible, Soul-Sucking Project of Doomy Doom at work is almost at an end. It tried to thwart me again this afternoon, but I am a Data Ninja and not so easily vanquished.
Downwood bought me what could be the Cutest Mug on the Planet. It's a penguin in a striped hat and scarf and holds a goodly serving of My Favorite Tea. It is both dangerously cute and roomy enough to be exceedingly practical.
My new glasses make me look more adult and even more adorable. I love them. I can't wait to get a chance to use the matching magnetic sunglasses. Finally, I will be able to drive or walk about and not be blinded by the sun! All hail the Magnetic Sunglasses of Adorable Doom! Hail!
Downwood's mother gave us an espresso/coffee machine for our birthdays. It is The Shiny. I'm going to be testing it out in the morning, and I expect to be wired well into the afternoon. Rock on.
Downwood and I are going to be married in roughly 357 hours. Not that I'm counting or excited or anything. Nope, I'm calm and serene and utterly unfazed. And if you believe that...well, um, welcome to my LJ since you are obviously new to this scene.
I have the Cutest Greyhound in the Whole World.
The Annoying Project of No Hope is once again stalled out at work, but this time it's not my fault. I'm waiting on another vendor to get off their voluminous asses and get to work finding me the information and documentation I've requested three times this week. On the up side, it's getting me known to several other application teams in the Evil Empire as She Who Gets Answers For You. Boo. yah.
The workouts that had been making me feel like I was dying now only make me feel like I'm about to die. This improvement pleases me.
There's a vat of chicken marinating on the counter and a bottle of, I kid you not, Transylvanian Vampire merlot waiting to be drunk with dinner. Imagine the excitement of finding that in Meijer when utterly strung out and hating the world. It's nice when the universe rearranges itself to amuse me.
I get to run a Shadowrun one-shot tomorrow. I have a plot, I have handouts, I even have a resolution. Hopefully, I'll stay sober enough to actually go through the game instead of falling down in a giggling heap of drunkenness. Either way will be fun, so I won't complain if the latter happens rather than the former.
There's a Sooper Sekrit Guesty Type (aka The Mad Clicker) coming to my house in about 70 minutes. This pleases me to no end.
The Massive Box of Lush that I got two weeks ago has all been tested and the products found to perfectly fill the niche that I needed. Recon, though slightly stinky and OMG!hard to wash out, has calmed down the terror that was my scalp. Ultralight facial moisturizer kicks ass, and the New! Hair shampoo is cinnamony goodness.
I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

There are many more reasons, but my tea is cooling and the phone is ringing. I need to put on my fuzzy red socks so my toes will be warm. Also, my new psychiatrist is amazingly wonderful and refilled my 'scripts for me, so I'm no longer out of meds and off my rocker.

Life rocks.

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: home, thank the gods
Current Music: phone call

I have come to the frightening conclusion that the pharmacists at my "new" drugstore are sampling the wares. Since I transferred my prescriptions to this branch, I've been finding that I have an extra dose of the mirtazapine every month.

Every. Single. Month.

At first Downwood claimed that it was because they'd accidentally given me 31 instead of 30 (what the Rx is written for) once and I kept putting that pill in the new bottle. I thought he maybe had a point, as I wasn't sure if I'd thrown away the extra dose or kept it. So last month I left the extra dose in its original bottle.

Last night, there were two doses of mirtazapine left and one of nortriptyline. "Hm," I thought, "isn't this the same as last month?" Sure enough, the remaining dose from February's fill was still sitting pristinely in its bottle. "Aha!" I exclaimed, "I have caught you red-gloved! I see your plot! You're trying to make me think I've forgotten doses so that I slowly overdose! Admit it!!!!"

Downwood was wonderful and called my refills in over his lunch break (I forgot until I was driving past them on my way to class in the frozen tundra). I just now counted the pills in each bottle. Nortriptyline: 30 doses. Mirtazapine: 31 doses!!!

I feel vindicated.

It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.

In other news, I really, REALLY want this book. That is all.

Current Mood: vindicated

cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

now with 76% fewer preservatives

zomg. ZOMG. zomg.

friday friday friday!

shut up jerkbrain

weekend

forgot my meds. that explains a lot about today

list-ish post.

SHINY

Four awesome things about today

WOOT!

status

med: beautiful things or tools of eeeevil?

accomplishments

Reasons why today rocks

I don't get it

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August 2021

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