sabine | Entries tagged with alex

Thursday - Med check at noon. I took a half sick day after it and just went home. I was headachy, but mostly just needed the mental health break.

Parent-teacher conferences went well. Both kids' teachers are happy with them. Alex, in particular, is so far beyond where he was last year, that his teachers are overjoyed.

Friday - Dressed up for Formal Friday in a vaguely western/steampunkish ensemble. I was happy with it. Came home and collapsed. We thought Emi had Girl Scouts, but our Google calendar tricked us. That was all to the good, as she didn't end up eating much dinner and probably would have been ultra-cranky at the end of it.

Saturday - Alex's cold kicked into high gear. Emi melted down about going to tap, but had a good time once we got her out of the house. I worked on work issues (upgrade happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning), CS homework, cleaning the kitchen, and sewing. I've made a good start on Hogswatch presents.

Emi and I made a tuna-noodle casserole that both tasted good and was safe for EVERYONE to eat. Alex had a couple noodles, but then asked for plain noodles. It was too weird to have all the things mixed up like that, but he tried it. So it was a win.

I ended up going to bed at halftime of the UW game. I am tired and need sleep.

Sunday - Homeboy was pretty miserable. Emi had been begging and begging, so we finally took our fall trip to the apple orchard. The walk from the entrance to the trees exacerbated Alex's asthma and he was totally miserable. Emi and I picked some apples and we were off. Fastest orchard visit ever. Still, we got some good apples, some fresh apple cider, and Emi got to go into their food area and buy some cider all on her own (Alex didn't want to go in, just wanted me to hold him, so Emi stepped up and was awesome).

I got all my laundry done and most of my homework. I still have a couple of bugs to work out of the homework and it's due tomorrow, so I'll be doing that instead of anything fun tonight. I got some sewing done and some more cleaning done. Alex just wanted to lay on top of Mom, so my productivity took a major hit. Still, I got enough done that I didn't beat myself up about it at the end of the day.

Today - zomg. Everything is on fire and full of bees. People across the country are panicking at me. I'm still kind of in a mode of "Behold the fields in which I grow my fucks. Seest thou that they are barren?". My Calming Voice is getting a workout today. I haven't rolled a 1 on anything yet and my aura of "Magic of Tech Support" has already given me a couple of free saving throws.

Also, I'm tired. Alex isn't sleeping well, so neither are Downwood and I. Ugh. But I'm wearing my new Nyx "soft matte lip cream" in Monte Carlo. It's a lovely bright red, though the matte texture is taking a little getting used to.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/806719.html

I am no longer scared of my Comp Sci class. I am daunted by the amount of work, but not scared. This is all going to be well within the realm of Things I Am Capable of Doing. It's interesting and - according to others in the software industry - will serve me well. I have done my "Hello, World!" in Java, which made me very happy and proud of myself.

Also, as I sit here and iterate through the code I'm writing to help out a customer, I can see that I already have a lot of the skills that the prof wants to teach us. The willingness to test over and over. The ability to think critically about how I'm going about something. How to logically debug one step at a time. And did I mention going through it over and over?

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I'm getting more serious about planning a trip to Costa Rica for next year. It seems like a better and better idea. Maybe late next summer. Maybe next Thanksgiving. We'll see.

I'm doing a better job of exercise. I'm trying a "30 for 30" challenge for the month of June - 30 pushups (wall, because I'm a weakling), 30 crunches, 30 squats, and a 30 second plank. I'm also letting my Fitbit motivate me to get up and walk throughout the day and to get in workouts during the week. I have no idea if this is helping or not. My goal is to be healthy and to not fall over dead when I finally get to go back to dance class.

My swatches from SilkBaron came! So many bits of orange silk! Choices!!

Today is Emi's last day of school. She's nearly a SECOND GRADER. How is she so big already? Time seems to pass in a flash these days. Next week starts swim lessons. The week after that is summer school - she gets to take yoga and Maker Space. I haz a jealous. The week after that starts her summer dance classes.

Alex slept better last night. He was up when I got home shortly after 9, but went to bed without too much of a complaint after that and stayed in bed the rest of the night. We'll see if this continues.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Current Music: PMJ - Titanium
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/792413.html

Alex has been having problems sleeping. He'll go to be at his usual time (~7:30), but will then wake up very sad sometime between 9 and 10. Then he gets up another couple times throughout the night. Sometimes he comes in and wants hugs. Sometimes he just stays in bed and sobs. When he's that upset, he loses his words, so we don't actually know what's wrong. I have a suspicion that he's hitting a growth spurt and isn't eating enough food to support it. Whatever the case, it's making morning hard on Momma, Daddy, and Alex. Luckily, he's done with school for the year so that he can get some extra sleep in the morning.

We walked down to our little Farmers' Market in the park on Saturday morning. The kids made a beeline for the sandbox and swings. Downwood and I got coffee and were able to browse the stalls in relative peace. I visited the library to change out exercise DVDs. Then we walked downtown. We stopped at the bakery for bread (for grownups) and drinks (juice/water for everyone!). We then hit up two of our small businesses to get presents for grandpas for Fathers' Day.

Emi has developed a rather alarming habit of bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. Instead of saying that she's upset or asking for something she wants, she immediately starts crying. Not sure where she's getting that, but we talked about it and she's going to try to do better. I told her that I would try to listen better, but she will probably still hear "No" at the same frequency.

Sunday was quiet. Downwood mowed the yard and smoked a brisket. I dyed my hair and finished my Comp Sci homework. I also finished a pair of swim bottoms and have a swim top about 70% done. Not sure how cute this is going to be on me - I think I need to modify the legs to have a slightly higher cut on the thigh - but it's an accomplishment.

I'm still not reading books or listening to audiobooks. I'm still stuck in some fairly negative mental loops. But it's not all negative and things will continue to change. Just...I'm tired and I want it to change FASTER.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/792228.html

I caved at Walgreens and bought a bunch of different lip glosses and tinted lip balm. I've been meeting my NY Resolution of "wear lipstick more often" and wanted new options. The lady in the cosmetics department convinced me to try a matte lip gloss, which seems like a contradiction of terms. I picked a dusty rose color that seems to be doing good things, as long as you say that getting lip prints on everything is a good thing.

Alex is on the mend. He's finally well enough to go back to school.
Downwood is down for the count. His immune system finally caved and he's got the crud that the rest of us have been fighting off.

It's voting day! Woo!

Werk Giant Conference of DOOOOM's theme this year is "Adventures in Wonderland". YOU GUYS, I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE COSPLAY POTENTIAL YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

The thing that Downwood and I are writing is just shy of 68k words. I'm proud of us.

My anxiety wants to break free and swallow me. I'd rather it didn't. I think I need to take a walk at lunch.

Emily has been a pill lately. I want to raise her to be a strong woman, but I don't know if we'll survive it. So much attitude in such a small package.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Current Music: customers on the headset
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/775403.html

Emi came into our room this morning and woke us up. Usually this means she wants to snuggle, she had a bad dream, she had an accident, or something else. Today's 5:20 AM crisis was different.

"I think I lost my tooth."

Downwood's glasses had fallen under the bed, but he managed to get up and check her out. Sure enough, she lost one of her bottom teeth, though not the one we were expecting to come out next. He checked the clock and told Emi that she missed the Tooth Fairy cutoff time, so she'd have to wait until tomorrow. He put the tooth in a shot glass of water (our family's tradition - none of this mucking about under pillows for our fairy) and checked her pillow and bed for any blood.

He got Emi settled and came back to bed. About 10 minutes later, Emi came and crawled in with me anyway. When my alarm went off, she stayed snuggled into my warm spot. She got up not long after and watched cartoons and showed me the hole where her tooth used to be.

After coffee and light box, I was getting in the shower and went to turn on Alex's light. Little dude apparently decided that PJs were unnecessary and was sleeping in only his Pull-ups. No blanket. No sheet. No clothes. Dingbat kid.

And now I'm at work. I have plot bunnies for a AU game. I caved and got a fancy coffee, so now I'm very caffeinated. I'm wearing my shiny shoes and a peacock scarf. Life does not suck.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Current Music: customers on the headset
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/765255.html

Alex asked me last night to "Read more please."

....

Holy shit. He has WORDS and SENTENCES.

Okay, it sounded more like "Ree mo plea", but it was WORDS.

Best part of the whole vacation, really.

Current Mood: hungry
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/764115.html

Emi put on the new leggings I made for her. They're the same legging material as a pair I made for myself, but these have an attached bright red circle skirt. Emi's favorite color is red, so she loved them. I asked if I could take some pictures of her in her new leggings. She posed for a bit, then came to look at the pictures.

Alex came over. I asked if he wanted pictures taken. He said yes and got up and smiled for me.

I said, "Strike a pose!". He started bending and being upside down and touching the floor and stuff. I asked what he was doing, if he just wanted to be a goofball or what. He stood up and deliberately bent to the side again and smiled.

I said "pose". He did yoga poses.

Many giggles and high fives.

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: home
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/756480.html

After therapy last night, I raced home. I wolfed down some dinner, negotiated phone time with a crabby Alex, got Emi into bed, and got myself into bed. While I slept, Downwood kept Alex awake with a combination of Netflix, YouTube, and Daddy time. About 11 or so, Alex finally got to go to bed, whereupon he passed the heck out.

I got out of bed at quarter to 5 and made coffee. I turned on a whole bunch of lights, including the one in Alex's room. I caffeinated and lightboxed myself for a bit, then pulled Alex out of bed.

He was SO MAD.

We cuddled for a little while. He was slowly coming online, so I finished my morning computer routine. Then he was more mad, so I pulled up YouTube for us. He watched from my lap for a minute, then got down, grabbed my hand, and indicated I should stand and follow him. I did. He then walked around me and got up on my chair.

I asked if I could sit with him. He emphatically declined.

So I queued up some train and firetruck videos for him and went to the kitchen for breakfast. After I ate, he still wanted to be in the chair by himself, so I sat nearby and read my book.

I got Emi and Daddy out of bed at quarter to seven. Emi needed to do homework, so I got her fed and got her done. Daddy took her to the bus stop. There were showers and we hit the road.

On the drive to the hospital, I had to keep turning around to make sure Alex didn't nap. He was SO MAD at me, but stayed awake the whole trip. We got to the hospital with no problems, got checked in, and got to our department.

When we went to the exam room, the tech needed to put 27 separate electrodes all over Alex's head with very stinky glue and an air compressor. Alex played on my phone most of the time and watched her in a mirror the rest. She had him do some baseline activities: open and close eyes, breathe rapidly (blow on a pinwheel), and watch a blinking light. Then she finally let him take a nap.

He was passed out about 57 seconds after she turned down the lights and stopped talking.

He got to sleep for about a half hour, then she startled him awake to get another data point. Then she combed oil through his hair to get the glue out. Then we got to go.

We hit a grocery store on the way to dropping me off at work. We got to work a little earlier than I'd been afraid of, so Downwood and Alex came in to have lunch with me. Then we had to go out and look at the train car and watch the construction equipment for a while.

Now I'm trying to remain focused. It's difficult. One foot in front of the other, go through the task checklist, make it to the end of the day. Alex was a TROOPER through the whole thing. Momma was probably worried for nothing.

We get the EEG results back in a week or two. It'll probably say, "No problems. He's fine," but after the Great Hallway Collapse of September, the docs are taking full advantage of our awesome health insurance to rule out any major variables.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/755014.html

Friday ended well. That is, it ended on time at work. I was able to get home, have dinner, and actually see my kids for a bit. It was lovely.

Saturday morning we all slept in a bit. Daddy took Alex off to his final soccer game of the season. When Momma goes to soccer, he comes over for hugs, snuggles, and refuses to play. When Daddy goes, Alex actually plays...mostly. He's still 4 and doesn't really have the attention span for an hour-long game. But he had fun, so that was good.

Emi and I went down to the basement to get some stuff done - I wanted to sew and she wanted to clean up the giant box of American Girl doll stuff my dad mailed us. They have a dog, so I refused to let her play with the stuff until we cleaned it. Everything that could be washed went into the washer. The rest...well, I gave her a box of Clorox wipes and told her to wipe everything. I'm not sure how good of a job she did, so we'll see how badly her hands break out as she continues playing with this stuff.. I hemmed a pair of leggings, then cut out, sewed, and hemmed matching leggings for Emi and me! They're a space-dyed lime green and teal spandex knit. I adore them. Emi adores them. We both decided we needed to wear them that day. Alex was jealous and wanted to know where *his* new pants were.

Then, we went out for lunch (Culver's) and went up for apple picking! It was a gloriously sunny day and it was wonderful. The kids are finally big enough that no one needed to be carried, pushed, or pulled. We picked apples, ate apples, and had a lovely long walk. We bought some cider, the apples we picked, and some apples for sauce. On our way home, we stopped by a local farm and bought pumpkins and squashes. Downwood got to recreate a viral video when he put the apples onto a drill to peel faster. It worked surprisingly well - only one exploded from the G-forces. We made apple sauce, ate apples, and hung out for the rest of the day.

Sunday morning we all slept in LATE. Emi came in and snuggled with me, which was lovely. She's getting so big and most of the time I'm up and doing stuff long before she is, so this was a wonderful treat for Momma.

I did a lot of laundry and a lot of sewing. I started getting pieces cut out for Emi's Hogswatch present (tons of princess dresses). I also pulled out the leftover green fabric and a blue jersey remnant and put together a shirt for Alex. It's super cute and he loves it. Now I need to make a similar shirt for Downwood and trim it with the last little bits of the green fabric and we could have an ADORABLE xmas card picture.

We also did a lot of cooking. Downwood boiled apple juice down into apple juice concentrate, then mixed it with more cider and honey. It's currently sitting in the brewing closet with Campten tabs, killing off any unwanted bacteria. Tomorrow, he'll put in the yeast and let it do its thing. I decided that I was tired of stopping at the gas station every morning to grab a breakfast sandwich and coffee, so I made some english muffin egg sandwiches and some breakfast burritos and put it all in the freezer. This will work. I will make it work.

I did NOT get over to the tattoo place to get my pumpkin done. They were super busy and I had too much anxiety to call early enough for them to get me in. UGH. So now I'm Fbook chatting with the owner and we're setting up a time. I finally decided that this can go on the back of my left calf. That way, it won't interfere with my plans for my right leg, with my back phoenix, or clash with my ideas for my right arm. Also, I didn't feel like dealing with the potential embarrassment of a high hip placement. My calves are lovely and deserve to be decorated, too.

So, yeah, I accomplished a lot this weekend. I was decent at adulting, even if a couple of times I just said "Heck with it" and tried to enjoy the moment. I did NOT want to get out of bed today, but werk's been reasonably quiet. This is a nice change of pace and one I will be embracing.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/754480.html

I got home from werk at a reasonable hour tonight. WOO! Downwood made dinner and we were just getting ready to sit down when he gasped, "It's TUESDAY!"

Yes, tonight was parent/teacher conferences at the elementary school. At the time Downwood remembered, we had 7 minutes to get the kids in the car, get across town, and get to Alex's conference.

We made it there only 3 minutes late. Did I mention we live in a really small town? This is a wonderful thing.

Our school district has been amazing with both kids' allergies. The teachers care deeply about the kids and want to keep them safe and healthy. When Alex collapsed at school, his teacher was just as worried as we were. They *care* and they do a good job of teaching school things. I love our town.

To no one's great surprise, Alex loves school. He's got the routine down COLD. He's happy, loves exploring, pays attention during all the sections of the day, and TRIES SO HARD. Emi also loves school, is incredibly enthusiastic, and is right in the middle of her grade level for reading and math.

After hearing how wonderful our kids are, we went to the Book Fair in the library. I flat out refused to buy Emi a Barbie book. We settled on a "Pinkalicious" book that should be right at her reading level. Alex picked a board book about counting penguins. It's cute, but way below the books he's been requesting (we're onto book SIX of the Dragonbreath series). I got a copy of Lumberjanes because it'd been on my Amazon list for a while and the book fair helps fund the PTO. Everyone wins!

Then home to dinner (FINALLY), baths, lotion, books, and bed. Alex passed out halfway through the first chapter of the book. Emi is still talking to herself, but should be asleep soon. I need to do my Duolingo, check some websites, and then go pass the heck out myself. Monday nights are short - I don't get home from dance until 9:45-10 and then it takes 30-45 min for my drugs to kick in enough to fall asleep - so Tuesdays are generally come-home-and-collapse days.

Still, kids are doing fantastic jobs in school. They're making friends, following rules, and learning neat things. Neither of them (so far) is the outstanding academic freak that I was. That's okay - they'll likely be better rounded, better adjusted people because of it. As long as they find the thing that makes them geek out, I'm okay with it.

Current Mood: thankful
Current Location: home
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/753892.html

Alex got to visit the pediatric cardiology group today. This was one of the results of the Great Hallway Collapse of earlier this month. He got to listen to his heart and see it on a screen! They did an EKG and an ultrasound. Everything's normal! His heart wasn't the reason he collapsed at school.

Work is crazy. Lots and lots of things piling up. Ugh.

That said, I made a new work friend. A new hire came to interview me for a project. I discovered she likes NaNoWriMo. I happen to be friends with people who do this. I made connections. :) Also, she laughed at my jokes. This is a good thing.

I have lots and lots of wonderful fabric at home. I have several planned princess dresses for Emi and nearly-nieces. I also have more legging material because OH GODS THESE LEGGINGS ARE SO COMFORTABLE. I may never wear real pants again. Except my palazzo pants. Also super comfortable and look a little more classy.

I miss good, restful sleep. I miss the sleep I could get in grad school and college. Oh me, why did you decide to grow up and be a Real Adult (tm) and such? That was not a good decision on your part. Just sayin'.

And now, to dinner and dance! Whee!

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/753631.html

We went to our town's small Ren Faire today. I couldn't find my Bin o'Garb, so I pulled out a 32 yd skirt, wrap top, blouse, and some belts and called it good. Downwood pulled out his full garb set. Emi wore a kirtle I made a while back. Alex wore the fleece surcoat and knight helmet I made last year. We made a pretty good picture.

Alex got to play big Jenga with pirates. He got to watch a blacksmith, a wood carver, and some sheep. He chose a short sword and shield as his take-home weaponry.

Emi got to watch fire eaters, a magic show, and a storyteller. She got to play Jenga with pirates. She also got to try out a bow at the archery range. She came home with a quiver of suction-cup arrows and a bow.

The kids are now out back. Emi's doing her best Brave impression - she actually did REALLY well for only picking up a bow today. Not quite a "natural", but WAY better than the two little boys who went before her and took several turns each. Downwood's teaching Alex some sword technique. At some point soon, Emi will likely come charging in to get *her* wooden sword (2 handed long sword) and the battle will continue.

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: home
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/753221.html

Yesterday was quite the thing.

I worked all morning and then took off at noon. I had my inaugural visit with a new psychiatrist. My old one left that practice and my insurance insisted that I start seeing one of their people. Fine, but my records didn't get transferred to my new Dr. Argh, especially since my job with the Evil Empire is to MAKE SURE THESE THINGS HAPPEN, PEOPLE!

Luckily, we live in the future, so I was able to pull out my smartphone and tell my dr what meds I'm all on and roughly when I started each. It's super cool to be able to see this in both my dr app and Walgreens app. Super helpful!

Since I didn't know how long the appointment would be, I took the afternoon off of work. This was nice, since I was able to get a PSL and head home. I watched cartoons with Alex and taped together a couple printed patterns. I got most of a dress cut out for Emi, but I need to iron my fabric and just couldn't deal with it.

I got to hang with Emi after school and hear all about her trip to Cave of the Mounds. I got to check my work email and try to not snarl at people who ask silly questions.

Then, I got ready for the show! I ended up wearing an off-white long sleeve shirt, my Peg Leg leggings (because I thought it would be cold), one of my 32yd skirts (black on top, white ruffle, and gold ruffle on bottom), and a white corset with a little black lace and black binding (couldn't find a belt that looked right). I also put on a bunch of white eyeshadow, glitter, and a pearl choker.

I had a quick dinner with the family and then headed up into town for the show!

Side note: I didn't have to psych myself up to go to this show. I didn't worry about looking ridiculous or that I'd get lost or that everything would go horribly wrong. I think my anxiety lives in Night Vale. I'm strangely okay with this.

I found parking about 4 blocks from the theater. On the way from the car to the theater, I put on my bustle and my wrap. When I came up to the theater, I turned on the lights in my bustle and wrap.

So. Many. "ALL HAIL!" It was AWESOME and made me feel loved.

I waited in the line to get in, got anxious when RH couldn't find parking, but she drove by, gave me my ticket, and sent me in to stake out seats for us.

The crowd was super fun. There were LOTS of costumes, but only two other glow clouds. And our glow cloud costumes were WAY better. There were Eternal Scouts, Old Women Josie, opera goers, pretty sure there was a John Peters (you know, the farmer), and others I couldn't identify. The demographics of the crowd were neat. There were really young kids (10-13yo), college/grad students, professionals, and grandparent types. And we all cheered super loud when Meg (Proverb Lady) came on stage.

The show was fantastic. I was NOT a fan of the musical group for the bridge and the Weather. Just...not my jam. Good, but not what I like to listen to. The story of the show was fun, being able to see the voices was super awesome, and the live background music by Disparition was great! The story was a little short, especially in light of how many songs Dessa sang before the show started, but it was fun, suspenseful, and full of all the things that make Night Vale own my soul.

I got home about 10:50. I came in, dropped my stuff, and immediately had to start cuddling Alex. He was up crying. We walked around the house and snuggled on the couch for a bit. I got him back in bed, Downwood got a new nightlight for his room, and he was getting settled when I saw the dry, super cracked skin on his wrists and feet. I put some aquaphor lotion on, but it hurt so bad that he started sobbing again. He eventually calmed down, but not until after I laid down on the floor next to his bed so that he wasn't alone.

He fell asleep. I went to bed. He woke up crying again. I went in, got him to go back to sleep. I went to bed. He started crying. Downwood went in. Sleep. Crying. Momma in. Sleep. Crying. Daddy in. Through all this, we never actually figured out what the problem was. No words means communication is hard. No words and tears mean communication is nearly impossible.

At some point, Downwood brought him into our bed to sleep. Poor dude. Neither Downwood or I got good, solid sleep as a result.

We let Alex sleep as long as we could this morning. At the absolute last minute, I woke him up enough to ask if he wanted to go to school because it's Farm Field Trip Day. He said a sleepy yes. Then there were LOTS of tears as I got him ready. Getting dressed was hard, having something to drink was hard. Getting some lotion on the bad spots was hard. He didn't cheer up until he was in his jacket and had his backpack on and some rice crackers to munch. Poor little guy.

Kids got off to school and I got myself to work...about 30 seconds before my first meeting of the day. Now, I'm going from meeting to meeting, trying to pay attention and be my usual awesome self. I'm very tired and the coffee is starting to wear off (eeeeek).

I just have to get through 8 hours of today and then I can go home. I can make Emi a new dress for Ren Faire this weekend. I can figure out something to wear for me. I can snuggle Alex and help him feel better. I can go to Walgreens and get the new meds. I can do these things.

I'm wearing my new Night Vale t-shirt and my Night Vale hoodie. I have music and podcasts. I have some very good books queued up on my Kindle. I can do this.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/752975.html

Alex's PCP thinks that his collapse yesterday was related to either an allergy or anxiety trigger for an asthma attack. Still, since he's missed some developmental milestones (talking), they're sending him to a pediatric neurology referral, just to make sure there's nothing going on.

He spent a lot of the afternoon cuddling me on the couch. Now, he's playing with a tape measure. Later, we'll go to soccer.

He's still our happy boy. He's still a four-year-old.

Both kids have allergy appointments on Friday. We'll see how that goes.

Current Mood: thankful
Current Location: home
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/751708.html

Friday - Another long day at werk. Another frustrating day at werk. Things are starting to come unglued and I need to put it all back together again before my sabbatical. Sheesh.

Saturday - Had a little bit of a lazy morning, then went out shopping. We went to the Sprint store and got new phones! It took FOREVER to arrange everything, but I now have a new iPhone and it's shiny and fast and has more storage space. Totally awesome, but it took so long that I ended up walking Emi over first to Taco Bell (for beverages and bathroom) and then to Goodwill just to get her out of the building and not being crazy. Then Target for last minute essentials (enough socks without holes for the whole trip, for one). Then Aldi to restock lunch items and some freezer options.

By the time we got home, all of us had just about had ENOUGH of people. Also, both kids have head colds and Alex in particular was getting miserable. And Downwood's foot is still sort of broken (not actually broken, but hurting as if it was). We watched the Iowa State-Iowa football game and I got depressed in the fourth quarter.

Alex's head cold was getting worse by bedtime. So much so that when he got worked up after bath and again in the middle of the night, there was wheezing and throwing up and very sad panda boy. One of those nights where (1) I'm glad I didn't work the next day and (2) worried about leaving in a couple days. Grandma isn't exactly up to handling this kind of panic.

Sunday - Pretty lazy day. I re-hennaed my hair and did a lot of laundry. I didn't get any of my hemming done - and I have things to hem that I want to take on the trip! - because Alex felt pretty puny all day. Since I'm his Favorite Person, that meant that he wanted Momma on the couch to snuggle. So I spent almost the entire day on the couch with a feverish boy either on my lap or laying on me. I kept trying to get him to drink juice wiping his nose. He kept either falling asleep or being mostly asleep on top of me. Every so often I'd either prop him up on a pillow or put him on Daddy's lap. This is how I got my hair dyed, the laundry folded and put away, and dinner made. Everything else got pushed aside in favor of helping Alex rest so that maybe he can kick this cold by the time we leave.

Emi didn't feel so hot, either, but instead of being clingy and wanting snuggles, she just whined about everything. Instead of resting and napping, she got more and more tired and more and more difficult. Ugh. Not fun.

Today - I have a headache and am cranky. I'm getting more and more anxious about this trip. Downwood can't walk very well, so there go most of my plans for exploring - I could go off with my sister, but that doesn't seem like a very positive thing to do. I'm worried about Alex being sick when we leave. I'm worried that I'm going to catch his cold and be miserable the whole time we're overseas. I still have to call the bank to let my cards work and call the phone company to make sure my phone works.

I have my dance stuff, but I'm not sure if I'm going or not. I have lots and lots to do at home and kids who need Momma. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. Today and tomorrow are going to be very long days. Too damn much to do.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/749216.html

Today is a Tuesday that feels like a Monday. Ugh.

Yesterday was for playing with kids, Skyping with parents, sewing, and dance class. It was nice to sleep in. It was nice to snuggle with the kids. I got some sewing done, though not as much as I would have liked. I cleaned off the top of my desk and found all sorts of interesting things.

All in all, it was lazy, but with the tinge of "you have to go back to work tomorrow and you still have all these things NOT DONE around you and there's too much so you can't do it all so how can you decide what has to get done at all" anxiety. No fun.

Dance class was usual. No Au (yay baby!) and no New Dancer K (whew), but Entomologist Dancer was there, which was kind of nice. The drum solo is...probably not going to happen in my brain. It's fast and I'm coming in two weeks late. Also, I'm going to be at class next week, then skipping at least one week. By the end of the choreography hour, I wasn't completely lost, but I was utterly dependent on GPS and Teacher M to make it through.

Sigh. I didn't feel completely hopeless, at least. I just...I'm not very good at the sharp, staccato movements that drum solos require. I feel like they don't look very good on me. I still try hard, but I just don't really enjoy this kind of dancing.

Sunday was also lazy for most of the day. Alex and I snuggled while I read Seanan McGuire's latest. The big highlight of the day was taking the kids to the annual Library Book Sale and park. The kids pooled their money to buy a canvas bag, which they then had me stuff with books. I spent $5 on a 1876 copy of Alexander Pope's translation of The Odyssey and $10 on a 1880-1890 2nd edition copy of Darwin's Descent of Man. I haz a smug about this. Afterward, the kids played at the park. The heat index was insane (for Wisconsin) so when our water bottles were empty, it was time to head home. We went down to the basement to cool off and I got a couple more Hogswatch presents finished and put into the Present Box. Also, Emi lost her right front tooth and the left is super wiggly. She looks like a hockey player now.

Saturday was supposed to be for going to Faire. I'd promised it to myself as a "Get through Work Week of Hell and Don't Slap Anyone". But with a heat index in the triple digits, I decided that there was no way I was taking the kids out in the heat all day. So we lazed around, I read "The Shepherd's Crown", then Emi and I went to JoAnn's (all hail 25% off entire purchase coupon!) and Woodman's (UGH!). When we were at JoAnn's, Emi explained that she really NEEDS a new tiger blankie. Her blankie is pretty small (basically one square yard) and doesn't cover her anymore. So we got fuzzy, furry fabric for new blankies for her and Alex. And some knit for me for a skirt and leggings. And some surprise fabric.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/747609.html

Part of the bedtime ritual at our house is that Momma reads to each kid before bed. Every night that Momma's home, we read books. Sure, we'll read books at other times of day, but we always, always read at bedtime. Even when Momma's travelling, sometimes there can still be bedtime stories - I'll Skype and recite some of Alex's books or Emi will call and I'll spin her a bedtime story.

It's only been in the last 6 months or so that Emi's been willing to have non-picture books at bedtime. She was sort of okay with the "level one readers" - the step just above "little kid book" - but didn't always trust them, since I'd occasionally ask her what some of the words were. This is partly why she has Jedi and Sith in her list of sight words.

I tried to get her to listen to some chapter books, but we always gave up. That is, until I found THE book. Browsing through Half Price Books after a med check appointment, I found a chapter book all about the further adventures of Anna and Elsa. I brought it home and Emi was HOOKED. She LOVES Elsa and, though these are basically sanctioned fanfic, she loves the new stories.

We're now on book four of the series. There are currently six planned.

I also found the "junior novelizations" of recent Disney movies. We read about Big Hero Six, Brave, Frozen Fever (because I REFUSE to spend money on the live action Cinderella. Feh), and Tangled. I also got her to finally listen to "Nurk". Now, we have choices for what story to read. I have hope that this will let us read other books...like The Hobbit, The Fairyland series, Narnia, The Boxcar Children, The Secret Garden, and so, so many others.

Meanwhile, in the other bedroom, Alex has always preferred books that rhyme to those that don't. He'll pull several books from his shelf and have me read as many as he can possibly get away with. He's also the one more likely to go grab a book and ask me to read it...usually, by sitting on me and opening the book.

This is how things have been going. That is, until yesterday.

You see, Ursula Vernon's (

ursulav ) new kid book came out last week. It's "Hamster Princess: Harriet the Invincible". It's about a hamster, who's a princess under a curse. She's discovered that since the curse *has* to keep her alive until her 12th birthday, she's currently INVINCIBLE. Also, the cover is covered in glitter.

I had to buy it. Right away. Moral imperative...and I buy all of her stuff the second it comes out. It's just that good, yo.

I read it as soon as I could and loved it. I then offered it to Emi as an option for bedtime book.

She REFUSED.

I've no idea why, but she just wanted nothing to do with it. So, last night, I asked Alex if *he* would like me to read it to him. I expected an immediate refusal, as there's (a) no rhyming, (b) no dinosaurs, (c) no trains, and (d) longer than 15 pages.

He grabbed it and took it to his room.

Last night, we read the first four chapters. At the end of each chapter, I'd ask if he liked it and wanted me to keep reading. Vigorous nods. He fell asleep on the last page of chapter 4. I kissed him and turned off the light.

Tonight, before organizing his blanket and pillow, he was grabbing for the book to shove at me. We read chapters 5-7. He fell asleep on the last page of chapter 7.

I...didn't expect this to work. I underestimated our little dude, because I expected him to have the same story attention span as his sister. Part of it might be that I'm way better at reading aloud now, but most of it is probably that he's a very different kid than Emi. So far, he's very much digging this story of a warrior hamster princess.

This makes me happy. Both kids (I hope) associate books with a Momma who loves them very much. I'd like for them to have actual friends and interests outside of books (unlike Momma) while they grow up, but I also want them to love good stories as much as I do. That'd be cool.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: home
Current Music: downwood on his headset with other gw2 players
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/745555.html

Friday - Got to work silly early and worked hard. Left work at 3:30 (WHAT?! I KNOW, RIGHT?!) and went to meet Downwood and kids at the doctors' office. Switched cars with Downwood, kissed him, hugged Emi, and bundled Alex in the car to go to my folks' for the weekend.

Much caffeine, some podcasts and Felicia Day's audiobook, and several "conversations" about big trucks later, we arrived at my parents' house. I was both wired and exhausted. Alex was super happy to be out of the car and was a total squirrel until I got us both in bed, rather late by our standards.

Saturday - Alex and I slept in LATE. Mom just let us sleep. We eventually staggered upstairs for breakfast, coffee, and a start of a busy, busy day.

Alex got my mom's Potty Training Boot Camp. He got frustrated with it after a while, poor guy. He still freezes up if asked to do a hard thing many times in a row, at which point you need to sit back and let him calm down before asking again.

He got to open his birthday present - a Cars scooter! We went to watch the town's Founders Day parade. There were FIRE TRUCKS and people throwing CANDY. Given that their town is tiny, there were about 4 floats, a handful of classic cars, the fire trucks and police cars, and that was it. It was just about perfect for Alex.

We washed and vacuumed both Mom's car and my car. So. Many. French. Fries. We had lunch.

Then we walked to the park for the rest of the Founders Day things. Alex wanted to be carried the whole time. I'm wondering if his shoes are uncomfortable. It's a bit of a walk for a little dude, but he wanted to be carried before we got out of the driveway.

We toured the library. Alex enjoyed TWO bouncy houses. We looked at all the fire trucks. Alex got to CLIMB INTO one of the fire trucks. We played at the park and he climbed all the things. He even got brave and decided to try the spinny tire swing. We walked home and Alex got piggy back rides or carried most of the way.

We went to church in the evening. I...don't think I love Jesus the way the priest wants us all to. I mean, I like a lot of what he teaches, but I can't handle most of the other stuff with the religion. Alex slept the whole way to church and actually behaved pretty well during Mass.

Sunday - I managed to get up at a respectable time. I read through the results of the Hugos voting. While I'm sad that "The Goblin Emperor" didn't take first prize, I was very glad to see that the Puppies got NO AWARDED right out the door. I drank coffee and talked with my parents.

When Alex finally got up, we got him some breakfast and went out to run some errands. Alex LOVES the hardware store and my folks needed to go to Menards anyway. It was obviously paradise for little dude. He adored it. We then went to the elementary school's playgrounds, where he got to climb, slide, and dig in the pea gravel. Again, he adored it.

After lunch, I packed the car and we headed for home. Alex slept for the entire first half of the drive.

Once home, I got engulfed in unpacking, doing laundry, picking up, reading to kids, more laundry, decide about dinner, bath, bed, argh! Emi also got a scooter, but hers is Frozen, not Cars. They plan to go to Target today to pick out helmets so they can practice in a nearby parking lot (our driveway is STEEP). Emi was very excited to see us. I think Downwood was, too.

Today - Work, which has been surprisingly chill for a Monday. We're entering the Two Weeks of Hell. Next week is our Giant Work Conference, where parking becomes a nightmare and you shouldn't try to eat out anywhere near WorkTown.

I need to get a lot done this week. Next week Monday-Wednesday will be mostly taken up with Giant Work Conference stuff. Monday and Tuesday, I'll be dressed up as Lucy, as in Lucille Ball, which is TOTALLY EXCITING. Then, it's only 2 weeks until my sabbatical and our trip! Woo!

This week -
Tonight - Dance. I'll be there tonight, but not next week, there for 2 weeks, then out for at least one, maybe two, depending on how jet lagged I am on the 28th.
Otherwise, not a whole lot. I need to talk to the bank and the phone company about international usage. I also need to order some new shoes (my poor shoes are getting holes in) and get some red lipstick. And hairspray. And see if I can get my hair to do the updo thing or if I'll be wearing a wig.

I'm starting to freak out about the travel. I haven't done something this big and expensive since our honeymoon. I haven't been away from my kids this long EVER. It's just...a lot. There's a lot.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Location: werk
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/744585.html

The entry page just ate my very long entry about work and the past weekend. I'm not re-creating that thing.

The highlights:

Work is terrible. I haven't gotten to do the things I enjoy in a long time. I have to do the things I'm good at and the company needs, but that kill my soul a little more each day.
We went to the zoo on Saturday. It was super fun and we enjoyed it a lot.
We played with some fun stuff from my "Things to do without screens" book. If you mix baking soda, salt, dish soap, and water, you can make a kind of dough to play with. Then give the kids a squirt bottle of vinegar. Yay, science!
I sewed some of my new hacci knits into a sweater for Mom for xmas.
I played far too much of Hatoful Boyfriend. It's the most messed up dating sim in the history of the world. You're a human, hunter/gatherer, living in a cave, getting text messages, and going to school at a prestigious pigeon academy. You must romance the pigeons. If you don't romance pigeons effectively enough, Bad Things happen. I've played through 3 endings and have probably 4 more to go. It's gloriously messed up, but really only worth it if you buy it at 75% off. It's good value for $2.50.
The summer is nearly over. Emi has her last ballet and swim lessons this week. Sunday-Monday are our Big Birthday Trip to Chicago. I'm not sure where all the time went.
Emi can be an overly dramatic pill. She can also be a sweet, loving, intelligent, creative kiddo. These are not mutually exclusive.
Ox not only knows the letters and that they can make sounds, but has figured out that words make sounds. And that Momma will say a word over and over if he keeps pointing at it. This is hilarious for both Momma and Ox. I thought he was going to either get the hiccups or throw up, he was laughing so hard tonight. This was right after he had me say QUACK about 20 times.
My back and neck are very messed up. I have about 60% of my normal range of motion. Ugh.

Good enough, I think.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Location: home
Crossposts: http://sabine791110.livejournal.com/742468.html

cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

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weekend

tuesday

weekending

tuesday ramblings

adventures in parenting

short bright thing

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living in the future

cosplaying as a responsible adult

conferences of DOOOOM

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August 2021

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